As our time in Augusta comes to an end, I am struck with an overflow of emotions. It is very bittersweet. We are extremely excited about our "new life" in Savannah. We are happy that Brad's medical training will be over and he can begin his career as a Neonatologist, and we are excited about the group he has joined and the hospitals at which he will be working. We look forward to nurturing the friendships we already have and are making in Savannah. Without a doubt, we are giddy about our new house, on which we have worked so hard. We are thrilled to be moving a new city ~ a fabulous, historic, beautiful city that we have both always loved. We are anxious to jump into our new lives in this new place, and get our family settled and situated with friends, activities, church, school, and everything that comes with life and living.
But to do all of these things, we have to leave Augusta, which has been our home for several years, and which we thought might be our home for several more years. We have to leave our home our church, our precious friends, and Alli Lane's school, EDS, which Brad and I agree has been one of the best parenting decisions we have made for her. This past week, I boo-hooed several days about this ~ especially AL's last day of school, driving her through carpool for the last time for drop off and pick up. Augusta has been Brad's home for ten years, since he went to medical school here, as well; it has been our home for six years and is where we lived as a newlyweds, where our two baby girls were born, and where we began our lives together, in general. Brad definitely feels "rooted" in Augusta, after ten years, but I do, too.
It's funny. I have had a lot of friends who have approached residency and fellowship in different ways ~ all have chosen the way that was right for them. Residency and/or Fellowship are temporary things, and I told Brad I would go with him wherever they might take him, because I believe that you can do anything or be anywhere for a limited amount of time. Yet, for me, they are not such temporary things that it wasn't important to dive right into life and get involved. And to be honest, if I was to talk to the wife of a new resident/fellow right now and give her advice, I would tell her to make a lot of friends, especially with other medical wives who understand what life as a medical wife is like. I would tell her to jump right into life, as well ~ even with it being "temporary" ~ and not to wait until after res/fel to begin living and being involved. I would tell her to bloom where she is planted.
Doctors have busy lives when they are in residency and fellowship, and when they are out of training and are practicing, and quite frankly, the majority of their lives are spent at work. During res/fel, they are limited to 80 hours per week, and if they are like most, they will actually work about 90-100 hours per week. Every week. When they are on call, they will work 30+ hours straight, which means they will have to "sleep" (or more appropriately, spend the night) at the hospital. When they get out and begin practicing, there may be a few perks, such as a few extra vacation days in a year, or slightly more flexibility or control with their schedules. But at that point, there is no governing council that "limits" their time to 80 hours a week, so they can work that, plus many more. If they are like Brad, they will have to continue to sleep at the hospital when they are on call. It is crucial that they love what they do, because they will spend the vast majority of their time and energy there. This also means that a doctor's spouse is alone much of the time ~ going to functions alone, going to church on Sunday morning alone, and sometimes feeling like they are raising children alone. It means that "the weekend" doesn't necessarily mean anything ~ 5:00 on a Friday evening doesn't mean that your spouse will be home until leaving for work again on Monday morning. The weekends, holidays, birthdays, and other special family times for most people are "just another day" in the lives of physicians and their families. (And when we are the ones who are sick and in need of medical care, aren't we glad that the physicians and their families make that sacrifice? If we are the sick ones, we don't care that it is Thanksgiving Day ~ we just want the care that we need and deserve.) Just as being a physician is a calling from God, so is being the spouse of a physician.
As a physician's wife, I knew that I had better jump into life and make a life for myself "without" Brad, or I wouldn't be happy. I joined the Housestaff Medical Auxiliary and got very involved, being the Co-Vice President my second year and being an officer every year of my membership. I have been in the Junior League, on a three year church committee, Room Mother, on school committees, and I have joined a Bible Study, book club, supper clubs, playgroups ~ you name it! In other words, I found it important to bloom where I was planted. I was planted in Augusta, Georgia, for three years of residency, then another three years got tacked on for fellowship, and I made the most of it. I was very involved, and I bloomed. I made Augusta my home ~ my family's home ~ and I have loved it here.
Since Augusta, became home, since we have so many ties here, it means there is a lot of which we must now let go. I look at friends who were not as connected to our community, and the process of leaving is a little easier for them. But I wouldn't trade the connections, friendships, and experiences we have had for anything ~ not even to make things easier now. I also feel that I am better prepared for life when Brad is practicing in Savannah than I personally would have been if I hadn't already had these experiences. It will be much the same in Savannah. I will go to Parent-Teacher conferences and Church alone much of the time. I will occasionally fly solo at parties, supper clubs, and other events. I will discipline our children, often being the "bad guy," alone, and I will feel like I am a single parent from time to time. And it will be okay, I will be okay, because I already know the drill. I already know how to bloom where I am planted.
But to do all of these things, we have to leave Augusta, which has been our home for several years, and which we thought might be our home for several more years. We have to leave our home our church, our precious friends, and Alli Lane's school, EDS, which Brad and I agree has been one of the best parenting decisions we have made for her. This past week, I boo-hooed several days about this ~ especially AL's last day of school, driving her through carpool for the last time for drop off and pick up. Augusta has been Brad's home for ten years, since he went to medical school here, as well; it has been our home for six years and is where we lived as a newlyweds, where our two baby girls were born, and where we began our lives together, in general. Brad definitely feels "rooted" in Augusta, after ten years, but I do, too.
It's funny. I have had a lot of friends who have approached residency and fellowship in different ways ~ all have chosen the way that was right for them. Residency and/or Fellowship are temporary things, and I told Brad I would go with him wherever they might take him, because I believe that you can do anything or be anywhere for a limited amount of time. Yet, for me, they are not such temporary things that it wasn't important to dive right into life and get involved. And to be honest, if I was to talk to the wife of a new resident/fellow right now and give her advice, I would tell her to make a lot of friends, especially with other medical wives who understand what life as a medical wife is like. I would tell her to jump right into life, as well ~ even with it being "temporary" ~ and not to wait until after res/fel to begin living and being involved. I would tell her to bloom where she is planted.
Doctors have busy lives when they are in residency and fellowship, and when they are out of training and are practicing, and quite frankly, the majority of their lives are spent at work. During res/fel, they are limited to 80 hours per week, and if they are like most, they will actually work about 90-100 hours per week. Every week. When they are on call, they will work 30+ hours straight, which means they will have to "sleep" (or more appropriately, spend the night) at the hospital. When they get out and begin practicing, there may be a few perks, such as a few extra vacation days in a year, or slightly more flexibility or control with their schedules. But at that point, there is no governing council that "limits" their time to 80 hours a week, so they can work that, plus many more. If they are like Brad, they will have to continue to sleep at the hospital when they are on call. It is crucial that they love what they do, because they will spend the vast majority of their time and energy there. This also means that a doctor's spouse is alone much of the time ~ going to functions alone, going to church on Sunday morning alone, and sometimes feeling like they are raising children alone. It means that "the weekend" doesn't necessarily mean anything ~ 5:00 on a Friday evening doesn't mean that your spouse will be home until leaving for work again on Monday morning. The weekends, holidays, birthdays, and other special family times for most people are "just another day" in the lives of physicians and their families. (And when we are the ones who are sick and in need of medical care, aren't we glad that the physicians and their families make that sacrifice? If we are the sick ones, we don't care that it is Thanksgiving Day ~ we just want the care that we need and deserve.) Just as being a physician is a calling from God, so is being the spouse of a physician.
As a physician's wife, I knew that I had better jump into life and make a life for myself "without" Brad, or I wouldn't be happy. I joined the Housestaff Medical Auxiliary and got very involved, being the Co-Vice President my second year and being an officer every year of my membership. I have been in the Junior League, on a three year church committee, Room Mother, on school committees, and I have joined a Bible Study, book club, supper clubs, playgroups ~ you name it! In other words, I found it important to bloom where I was planted. I was planted in Augusta, Georgia, for three years of residency, then another three years got tacked on for fellowship, and I made the most of it. I was very involved, and I bloomed. I made Augusta my home ~ my family's home ~ and I have loved it here.
Since Augusta, became home, since we have so many ties here, it means there is a lot of which we must now let go. I look at friends who were not as connected to our community, and the process of leaving is a little easier for them. But I wouldn't trade the connections, friendships, and experiences we have had for anything ~ not even to make things easier now. I also feel that I am better prepared for life when Brad is practicing in Savannah than I personally would have been if I hadn't already had these experiences. It will be much the same in Savannah. I will go to Parent-Teacher conferences and Church alone much of the time. I will occasionally fly solo at parties, supper clubs, and other events. I will discipline our children, often being the "bad guy," alone, and I will feel like I am a single parent from time to time. And it will be okay, I will be okay, because I already know the drill. I already know how to bloom where I am planted.
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