The Pain of Missing...

I miss my Daddy.

I don't know why it struck me so fiercely this evening, but it did, as it does from time to time. I don't know what sparked it.... Perhaps it was Thanksgiving. Perhaps it was Louie dying. Perhaps it was my wrist giving me problems right now and I'm wishing he was here to tell me what to do about it. Perhaps it was that we have so much going on right now and I want to share it with him. Perhaps it was all of this together, and more....

Perhaps it was simply that I miss him.

I miss him every day. It is palpable even thirteen years later. But I don't have a "hard time" every day. Of course, I always miss him, but many of the times I think of him each day are happy thoughts and memories. I can barely look into Boots' beautiful, clear blue eyes ~ my Daddy's eyes ~ without feeling that I am glimpsing into his eyes. I often think of him when I think about how Alli Lane always keeps a grin on her face that absolutely lights her up all over, just as his grin lit him up and rarely left his face. I am so blessed to have my girls, so blessed that they have special little traits of his. But to be honest, it makes me sad, too. He would be such a precious granddaddy to my girls. He would absolutely adore them, and they would adore him. I hate so much that he isn't here ~ that I don't have the joy of watching them with him, that they will never have the joy of him.

These little "bad" times sneak up on me from time to time; they eventually pass. I still don't always know what to do when they do. Sometimes I read my Bible. Sometimes I pray. Sometimes I look at pictures and read my journal of memories of him. Tonight, it struck while I was rocking my baby girl to sleep. So what did I do? I kept rocking, I held her a little bit closer, and I cried like the baby that she is.

Halloween Weekend, 2009

Halloween weekend was very busy and very fun! Most of you who follow our blog know that we usually have an annual Halloween Party at our house; this year, however, we were in Atlanta.

The festivities that weekend started on Friday night at Marist, Brad's school in Atlanta. He was inducted into their athletic hall of fame. He had the largest support group of all of the people being inducted ~ there were around 27 of us there, I believe. It was a special night for him. We are proud of you, honey!

Boots

Philip, Stephanie and Phil's little boy, doing a "split"

Alli Lane had fun playing with Georgia, Brad's cousin's little girl who is one year older than Alli.

Elizabeth and Philip were two peas in a pod. :)

Our family,the night of the ceremony

The next day was Halloween. We visited with Nana and Papa, then the girls took naps before the big night. We were disappointed that it was rainy and nasty, but that didn't stop the fun.

The little ones did get tired of having their pictures taken; here, Alli Lane is poised and ready, but Boots and Philip have had enough!

Alexis, Brad's friend, Preston and Brooke's little girl ~ aka Dorothy

Philip was a cute, cuddly bear.

Boots was a precious pink poodle.

Alli Lane was a flower fairy ~ specifically, a ROSE fairy.

Alli participated in the preschool Halloween parade at EDS. So so cute!! It is quite a tradition and I love watching it every year!

Fun, fun, fun!
Gotta love Halloween!!

A Night at the Fair

The fair came to Augusta, and of course, we took Alli Lane! She had a blast! She rode everything and ate all kinds of yummy fair junk food (and so did we). She won 2 prizes for herself and could not stop smiling!

Alli Lane at the end of the night....
With leftover cotton candy, her snake, her ball, and a HUGE smile!

I have some more precious pictures, but Blogger isnt letting me attach them upright. Not sure why. If I can figure it out, I will attach them later. :)

More Fall Photos!

Alli Lane drew this picture of our family at school.
Apparently, we have a son, Damon.
He is younger than Alli but older than Boots.
Hmmm... Brad and I are thinking we need to get moving and adopt a boy named "Damon" (pronounced "Dah-mon" according to Alli) who is about 3 years old pretty quickly. :)
This is too funny and will be kept and framed!

Here is another family portrait that she made at home.
Dede and Keith made the portrait, although I did not.
Damon was added at a later time.
I was added several days later.

What is it about their little hands that I just love so much?!

Sweet sisters! Alli reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to Boots.

Boots having a Tea Party!

THANKFUL THIRDS... October AND November

WOW. I started and never published my Thankful Thirds for October, and I am sooo late for November!!

We are so blessed, it is difficult to narrow down all for which we are thankful.

I am thankful for sweet Louie, my mom's beagle ~ really, our family beagle. We got him right before Christmas after Daddy died in 1996. He was a sweet distraction and a precious puppy. He has battled Lymphoma for 3 years, and although he did very well with his chemo/treatments for a long time, Mom had to put him down Halloween day. He was very loved and was our sweet angel. He got us through the most difficult time in all of our lives, and he is and will continue to be supremely missed. What an angel. Thank you, God, for giving him to us and letting him bless our lives for 13 years.

I am thankful for blessings in disguise. Brad has had some health problems lately, but before anyone worries, he is fine. However, the minor issues he was having helped us to discover some issues that, although not serious at this point in time, would have most likely become serious down the road. I am thankful for our health.

I am thankful for a precious husband who has been willing to do absolutely whatever it takes to take care of our family. He already works 80-100 hours a week, but with all of our financial troubles (most of which have come from the other house that has had so many problems, all of which we have fixed along the way), he has moonlighted at MCG and in Savannah every month; he has also officiated football games and performed physicals for middle and high school athletes. Thank you, Brad, for going above and beyond. Thank you for literally doing "whatever it takes" to get us through this.

I am thankful for having a giving and supportive Mom, who has also been AMAZING through this time. She has helped us financially, as well as in other ways. I get emotional when I think about everything both she and Brad have done for our family and wonder how I am so blessed. Thank you, God.

I am thankful for all of the stress in our lives. We have stress and a lot on our plates right now, but the stress really only comes from the fact that we are so blessed.

I am thankful for my precious girls. I love them more than anything in this world. I am thankful that they are healthy and happy.

Early Fall Photos

This fall has been so incredibly busy that I feel the need to create a new word to describe it, because "busy" seems like a joke compared to what we have been doing. Sometimes I feel like my head is spinning, but through prayer and taking one day at a time (and sometimes, one hour at a time!), we are making it through our seemingly endless list of things to do.

Our house on Springwood Drive (that we have kept as a rental house) is for sale. It is currently under contract, but not after MUCH work and stress and time and money. It has been so difficult ~ keeping it clean and looking good, but also the biggies like putting on a new roof ~ and that is only the beginning! We are also trying to begin to get our current house on Westchester Drive ready to sale by fixing the little things that we have "let go" recently. And of course, our biggest project: building a home in Savannah. This is a fun, exciting step in our lives, but I have decided it is a full time job. LITERALLY. Especially since we don't live there. Brad is moonlighting down there at least once a month, and on those weekends, we also have meetings galore. Then we come back to Augusta, and I run around trying to make hardwood, tile, and other endless selections for the house. Those are our three huge projects of late, and believe it or not, that only scratches the surface.

When we go to Savannah, we are blessed to have the Lewises there, who let us crash at their house. The girls have a blast playing, and we are grateful to have a place to stay. We also love getting to visit with the Moodys, our other good friends there. We are building a house across the street from the Moodys, and there are only 2 houses between us and the Lewises. We just hope they aren't sick of us by the time we actually move next June! :)

Alli Lane and Peyton playing dress up

During our September visit, Ashley and I took the girls to Back River on Tybee for a couple of hours. They had a blast!

For those of you who don't know, the Lewises' girls and our girls are the exact same ages. Lauren and Boots are only 3 weeks apart in age, and Peyton and Alli are only 2 days apart in age. It is perfect for playtime!

When we got there, all 4 girls headed in 4 different directions. No wonder the mommies were exhausted when we left! :)

Watching a movie before naptime in Mommy's bed

We read a Bible story every day before the girls' naps. Boots was ready for story time and naptime that day!

Alli Lane is FOUR :)

And Boots loves to tell everyone that she is ONE. :)

REWIND....

...to the end of summer / beginning of fall....

These are just some sweet pictures, in no particular order.

The girls love to hold hands in the backseat ~ and I love knowing that they are doing it! My babies!! :)

We were playing in the backyard, and Boots thought she heard her Daddy pull into the driveway. She ran to the gate hollering "Da Da!", and he wasn't there. This is her "where is he?" stance.

Boots and Stanley

Alli Lane and "Miss Jean" ~ her swimming teacher. Jean is FABULOUS!! Both girls will be taking swimming lessons from her in the spring, before we move!

Alli Lane loves to "help" me when I am making jewelry. Sometimes, she creates her own pieces, too!

Boots got into the markers. She put it on her face like makeup. Nice.

Boots has been much slower to grow hair than Alli was, but the curls are starting to appear!

Alli, teaching Elizabeth all about ballet

Poor Stanley! He got SARDS this summer and went blind. He had to wear a cone after he had surgery on his left eye for an ulcer. He is such a good little sport!

Alli Lane loves to "cook" and mix "ingredients". One night, when we were going down to the hospital to visit Brad on call, she wanted to make his supper. Well, I made the entree, but she made his "soup."

YUMMY! :) Brad is such a great sport, he actually ate several bites of this....